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| The Twinge | |
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I know, I know. No post for how long? Most of the time it is very difficult for me to believe that any idea I have for a post is actually not dumb. If that even makes any sense. Just my perfectionistic tendencies, I guess. Anyway, this will be a short post, but just something I've been thinking about and dealing with for a while now. Probably 85% of the time, I have this little twinge of guilt/worry in the back of my head. This constant voice that I am currently screwing something up. That I am, at this exact moment, doing something wrong, not doing something I should be doing, or just plain forgetting something I should be remembering. I figure it has to be a fairly common affliction and that it has something to do with some sort of anxiety or other official diagnosis. But then something little happens, or I am reminded of something, and it hits me right in the face; I am doing ok. I am not screwing something up and I am not forgetting to do my homework. I am not late for work, and I'm not forgetting to pay a car payment. Yeah, I still screw little things up now and then, but I'm actually doing pretty darn good. And that astounds me. The Twinge in the back of my head is the past creeping up on me and the future looming over me. It's worry about repeating past mistakes in the future. That twinge has become a complete waste of time, that I still find myself indulging in now and then. I can't go back to the past and fix it, or worry about things in the future that haven't even happened yet. The cure for the Twinge is hanging out in the present. And until I cure the Twinge, me and the Twinge will just have to be good friends. Can you tell I'm reading The Power of Now? |
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| By loosgroov on August 7, 2008 at 2:25am EDT | Topic(s): me |
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